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Actual Accident Report

The following are real statements found on insurance claim forms. Drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident succinctly.

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Coming home, I drove into wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

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I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my head through it.

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The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

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The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

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I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

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In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

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I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision, and I did not see the other car.

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The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.

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I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in the ditch by some stray cows.

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The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

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I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

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I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

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As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

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My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

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An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

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I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

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I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the curb when I struck him.

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The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

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message.

i hadnt been receiving jokes lately.
#msnprobs .